Not My Own

Stories by Lauren Fielding

Look closely at the youth of First Orlando and you’ll notice them wearing rings. But not just any rings. These TrueHeart™ rings have etched in them the words “You are Not Your Own” in Greek. It’s a phrase that promotes a selfless statement atypical of teens. “We’re talking about what it looks like to not be your own,” Keith Harmon said.

It is a message that students are responding to en masse and a challenge that even their families have taken up. Which is exactly what Keith and Chad Reeves were hoping for when they launched the emphasis a few months back. From the start, both wanted to speak to the entirety of students’ lives and move beyond issues of sexual purity. “We wanted the students to grasp the NMO [Not My Own] concept in every area of their lives,” Keith said. “It’s so much more than sexual purity. Being pure is about what you watch, listen to, where you go—everything.”

Yet, purity provides an important starting point. “It’s one of the things they struggle with the most. We notice that when a student starts to get serious, the area of purity is the first to change.”

Presenting students with a way to get serious became the first priority in the new Not My Own series, and purity became its first topic. May 5 was set as the premier date for what would be the Not My Own student rally. As preparations shifted into high gear, Keith and Chad sought to diversify the rally from already existing conferences. “A lot of conferences out there have a tagline, beat you up for a couple days and hope you make a commitment. But ultimately, you leave feeling pretty bad. Sometimes the events don’t tie into your life,” Keith said.

The tool he mentioned was the ring students could order if they wanted to commit to the NMO message. But while he was confident they would respond, nothing could prepare Keith for the way students embraced the rally and series. Kicking off to a hyped crowd of more than 250 students, the May 5 rally took place in the cinderblock and stucco Student Center. The Chris Allen Band from Texas rocked the audience. A candid dialogue between Chad and Girls’ Leader, Colby Weaver followed. Speaking frankly about their own journeys, the two leaders encouraged students to not only wait for marriage, but to honor one another as friends and in dating. Keith wrapped up the evening with a talk, then the band played as students came forward. But, the response outlasted that night and even the next when smaller group sessions were conducted.

“We had students who broke up as a result of the conference,” Keith said. “I was worried they would be mad at us, but they were thanking us because they realized they don’t have to be dating someone they don’t plan on marrying.”

Even parents replied with enthusiasm. “We had a lot of them ask if they could wear the ring. A lot of people told us, ‘We’re making this commitment as a family.’” It encouraged Keith, who was glad to see them set the example for their teens. As he put it, “How can we expect students to commit if we don’t?”

Looking back on the rally that preceded the powerful Camp Orlando experience, Keith reiterated the importance of addressing purity and devotion in a culture devoid of both. “What these students face is heavier and more ‘out-there’ than even what my generation faced. They see it everyday,” he said. “Everywhere they turn, the world crashes down on them. I’m not talking about Internet porn or HBO, just your regular network television. There’s not a lot [there] that will point you in the right direction.”

Yet, tempting as it might be to withdraw from the world, Keith still believes in influencing the culture. “We encourage students to be in the world, but not of the world,” he said. “We’re challenging the kids to keep their hearts turned to things that matter most.”

To do that, Keith urged students to stay plugged in to their youth group. “We’re on this journey together,” he said. But it’s a daily walk—every day, ongoing, a daily relationship. If we ever see our students get past themselves, we’ll see them develop a passion for others.